一個難以忘記的夜晚

在這個世界裡，大部分的人都用兩個面具來維持生活，一個事業的面具，一個是家庭的面具。
生活的壓力讓我們變得瘋狂，甚至壓力能成為猶豫症。今天我真的體會到一個人因為家庭壓力
差點變成一個傻人。很難想像一個面對那麼大的壓力的人。我本身也是其中一個差點變成猶豫症的人士。
安真的很可憐，外表很堅強的她，因為家庭壓力使她差點丟上性命。幸好我趕得及到現場，不然我真的無法是想。
安只有二十一歲，就要面對照顧孩子，面對事業，照顧家裡一切的事。很可憐，一個不會體會老婆的老公，
讓她壓力更加。上天請你保佑她能度過這一切。婚姻，別那來當作考驗，婚姻已經是注定你們未來的生活。
一個失敗的婚姻，不但只會造成困擾。家破人亡，最可憐的還是那兩個小孩。我真的害怕有一天那孩子會變成像他們一樣。
我好擔心，真的很擔心。願上天保佑他們。家庭壓力更恐怖比起事業的壓力。當初我覺得我是最慘的人，現在我覺得安比任何人
更淒涼。我會盡我能力去看著他們不再有同樣的事情發生，安需要的是休息空間。再多的痛，為了小孩，她一定堅持下去。安，加油。11/8/2013 2.42am

一個終於讓我知道事實的夜晚

原來，艷艷已經沒有在乎我的存在，當我駕車到她的家時，我還以為她已經拍拖了。可是最後知道事實後，才知道是那麼的複雜。為何她搞成這樣的呢。三個人同時愛上一個人。不過經過這個事實，我不曉得為何我不會難過，反而還安慰她。我也不知道我到底在做什麼。艷艷，我真心為她祝福，就算最後她選擇不是我。我很樂意的為她獻上祝福，愛一個人，不一定要得到在手，反而看見她幸福，那才是真正的開心。就像那部電影 那一年我們一起追的女孩。我終於可以放下她了。我終於可以讓我心理放下那個包袱。艷艷，我對妳的愛，永遠放在心裡就好了。18.5.2013 3.25am

一個很早到家房間的夜晚

日子一天一天的過，到現在我很想什麼都得不到。只有一個字。忙。我讓自己過的忙，只希望別讓我腦子去想無謂的事情。這幾天，我傷風感冒，感覺好累好累。幸好剛才做一做運動，整個人都覺得松完。啊艷，沒有一天不去想她，真的不知吃到她的什麼藥，就無時無刻都會想起她。我覺得，她也是一樣。這兩年，我知道她過的很開心。因為單身，就是她的自由。不過呢，當她一個人躲在房間裡哭又有誰能知道呢，真的是一個純雙子。星座說的一切有百份久都準。今天的工作，還算順利，現在腳真的好酸。不知道她現在在做什麼呢。還是去睡覺吧。。晚安。10.42pm

又是煩惱的一天

很煩，真的很煩。。。。。。。。。為何我的生活不能好多一些。為啥麼別人過個平凡日子都過的開心。為何我每天都在煩錢不夠用。我很閒，我過的真的很閒。完美還是現實，選擇完美，我每天過的日子就是煩錢。選擇現實，我沒有煩錢，可是我依然過的不開心。那我做人的意義在哪。和玲一起，對，是沒有問題，可是，和她一起，我還煩著沒錢我能給她什麼。還是不穩定，依然會煩金錢問題。和艷一起的話，也許不煩錢。可是，我還能做回我自己嗎。我還是原來的我嗎。和艷一起後，是不是每天都要注意她是否開心，還是不開心。她不開心，我能做什麼。她開心了，我是不是就沒煩惱了。我相信，分開了那麼久，什麼事都看開了吧。應該不會再像以前那樣喜不喜歡就發脾氣吧。咳。。。。。我真的不知道如何走像接下來的路。

Zero to Hero Night

時間過的很快，可是我到現在我還看不見我得到什麼。有些事情，我真的不知道自己在搞什麼。現在把事情搞的更複雜。我不知道自己要什麼。我竟然和她在一起了。可是，我的心一直都在想著艷艷。我到底在做什麼。我不知道我是不是愛她，可是現在和她一起就不會覺得困擾。我走錯了一步，現在連第二部都走一樣的路。我真的完了。還對得起艷艷嗎。我真的很失敗。我到底要如何去做才好呢。算了吧想，就由上天安排我這個命運吧。反正我都不知如何才好。

It's unstabilize my feeling now.

Day have a day, until now, finally I know who actually I love. Is yen yen. However how many I dates, but finally my heart still can't runaway from yen yen. Maybe These 5 years, she really give me so many memories I can't forget. She always are my best choices in my whole life. Even I try date somebody, my heart still can't accept others girl. I always wish yen yen can be together with Jacky at least I know he will take good care yen yen. If others people maybe I worry, but if Jacky I think I won't. Yen Yen, even how much I love you, I never try want to hurt you again. That's why I don't want close with you. Yen, I know your heart still have me, I'm sorry, I can't close to you right now. About Lien, I swear I won't try to hold your hand again, cause I know you are not my girl in my life. Maybe I'm a bad guy, but I just hope I can find my way. Yen Yen, you are really make me feel so hard to forget you. I know is my problem. I wish you can forgive me before I can hold your hand. I love you. These few months its really many happens. Make me I can't concentrate my job. But never mind. I know I can handle It. Good night myself and Good 9 to everyone. 

Cny eve.

2/2/2013 6.23pm

Now I'm in the the club prepare something for timbang tomorrow. My mood now feeling just like unstable . Huh....What happen with me. Tonight have the lion dance show in dewan masyarakat. I was called anne gene, and lien go together. Lien, her thinking just like know my feeling. When Im together work with her, my feeling very good. And always happy with her. This is called what?  Isn't fall in love? I'm guess she also start love me too. As I know. Is that good I do like that? I know I'm still waiting yen yen, but my heart still jump with lien, I looks like start falling love with her. This valentine's day  how leh? What I should I do neh? Possible both I send flowers? Can't like that, I can't hurt lien, cause maybe she are my love in the future, and about yen yen I still haven't yet get any answer from her. waiting waiting waiting..... Should I wait for her? Lien, can you give me an answer? Actually I need love right now. but what I can do right now? Don't do anything until get answer from yen yen? huz...If earlier I break with xiau yen did't tell anything to yen yen, maybe now I still easy to solve for this. No no no no, I can't talking like that. I'm damn fucking people. Edwin Alexander, You don't try hurt somebody again.  Lien, I start missing you always. But I can't be with you at this time. I need to get  for sure answer from yen yen then I can make decision. I'm sorry lien, you and me love I keep in the heart temporally.